Be The Perfect Husband .....

The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: ‘Hello

WOMAN: ‘Darling, it’s me. Are you at the club?

MAN: ‘Yes

WOMAN: ‘I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?

MAN: ‘Sure ¦go ahead if you like it that much.

WOMAN: ‘I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked.

MAN: ‘How much?

WOMAN: ‘$70,000?

MAN: ‘OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.

WOMAN: ‘Great! Oh, and one more thing ¦ The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000?

MAN: ‘Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price.

WOMAN: ‘OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!!

MAN: ‘Bye! I love you, too.

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open ¦..

He smiles and asks, ‘Anyone knows who this phone belongs to?

Earn Money Online with Neobux - Its true..

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Freewares / Free Softwares 26 Nov 09

Todo Backup

EASEUS Todo Backup is a free and comprehensive backup utility for system backup & restore, hard disk or partition backup & restore, and disk cloning - OS, data, applications, and settings. Features of EASEUS Todo Backup include - Backup system partition to image: Backup the entire system partition, including the system state and all files to an image file - a very useful feature if you wish to upgrade without reinstalling the OS and and applications, again; Restore the system partition by a bootable CD, would be a great help whenever a boot failure occurs; Compresses image file: The image file can be made smaller to save space, easy to store and transfer; Disk Cloning - Clone a disk to another one with fast file-by-file clone method; and Mount and Unmount - Mount the backup image file as a virtual physical partition.

EASEUS Todo Backup for Windows 2000 Professional/XP/Vista
and Windows Server 2000/2003/2008, can be downloaded at http://www.todo-backup.com/download/

An FAQ can be browsed at FAQ at
http://www.todo-backup.com/support/faq/

SafeHouse Explorer

This free utility can hide everything - make confidential documents, files and folders invisible until you enter your password. Its features include - fully-featured stand-alone security solution; hides, locks and encrypts documents, spreadsheets, photos, videos and others, just drag and drop; ideal for USB memory sticks and other portable media, including iPods; Super strong 256-bit Twofish advanced encryption; unlimited number of large private storage vaults; Graphical password strength meter to choose strong passwords; runs directly from USB memory sticks without prior Windows installation; and creates self-extracting EXE encrypted storage
vaults.

The 3.4 MB SafeHouse Explorer v3.00 for XP/Vista/Win7 can be downloaded at http://www.safehousesoftware.com/downloads/SafeHouseExplorer3.exe

Video guide at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-OEl5BB_PE/

User guide at
http://www.safehouseencryption.com/ExplorerHelp/SafeHouse.htm

GloboNote

GloboNote is a platform independent desktop note-taking application. The saved notes can be accessed in any OS, using this program. Among its features are: Organize notes in group, Customize notes; Change color, font, behavior of your note; Save/Load customized note preference and assign hotkey(Alt+1~4); Supports insertion of images on notes; Restores deleted notes; Option to make note stay on top of other windows; Option to auto rollup when not used; Lock note to prevent its editing or deletion; support rich text editing with bold, italic, colour etc; Supports URLs handling, Hide/Show, Find/Replace, Search notes and export note as plain text.

GloboNote can be run in Windows or Linux platform(J2SE 6.0 or higher required).

Windows version at http://sourceforge.net/projects/globonote/files/globonote/GloboNote-1.2/globonote-1.2.exe/download

Others at

http://sourceforge.net/projects/globonote/files/globonote/GloboNote-1.2/globonote-1.2.zip/download .

GlobeNote, a free software - can be redistributed or modified under the terms of the GNU General Public License.

-----------------------------------


Please suggest me a freeware
tool for converting videos
of different formats to others.

Have you tried Format Factory?
It can be downloaded at
http://www.formatoz.com/.

LIFEBOOK 2009

LIFEBOOK 2009
 
Health:
 
1.    Drink plenty of water
2.    Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar
3.    Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less  food that is manufactured in plants
4.    Live with the 3 E's -- Energy,  Enthusiasm, and Empathy
5.    Make time for prayer
6.    Play more games
7.    Read more books than you did in 2008
8.    Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9.    Sleep for 7 hours
10.  Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day ---- and while you walk,  smile
 
Personality:
 
11.  Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what  their journey is all about.
12.  Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. 
        Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13.  Don't over do ; keep your limits
14.  Don't take yourself so seriously ; no one else does
15.  Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
16.  Dream more while you are awake
17.  Envy is a waste of time.  You already have all you need..
18.  Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with  his/her mistakes of the past. 
     That will ruin your present happiness.
19.  Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate  others.
20.  Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
21.  No one is in charge of your happiness except you
22.  Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.   
     Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away 
     like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23.  Smile and laugh more
24.  You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
 
Community:
 
25.  Call your family often
26.  Each day give something good to others
27.  Forgive everyone for everything
28.  Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the  age of 6
29.  Try to make at least three people smile each day
30.  What other people think of you is none of your business
31.  Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.
 
Life:
 
32.  Do the right things
33.  Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
34.  GOD heals everything
35.  However good or bad a situation is, it will change
36.  No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
37.  The best is yet to come
38.  When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
39.  Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
 
Last but not the least :
 
40.  Do forward this to everyone you care about.
 

Principles of life

Principles of life
 

    * Winning isn't everything. But wanting to win is.

    * You would achieve more, if you don't mind who gets the credit.

    * When everything else is lost, the future still remains.

    * Don't fight too much. Or the enemy would know your art of war.

    * The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.

    * If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.

    * If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.

    * Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.

    * You won't get a second chance to make the first impression.

    * Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.

    * Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.

    * If you are not failing you're not taking enough risks.

    * Don't try to get rid of bad temper by losing it.

    * If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    * Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything

    * There are two kinds of failures. Those who think and never do,

      and those who do and never think.

    * Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.  

   * All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.

    * Change your thoughts and you change your world.

    * Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.

    * There are two kinds of fools in this world. Those who give advise

      and those who don't take it.

    * The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.

    * Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right

      things.

    * Friendship founded on business is always better than business

      founded on friendship.. ...

 

Have a great life and may god bless you all

15 Things About Coffee

Know your customers........ Good One!

Know Your Customers A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?" The salesman explained "When I got posted in the Middle East , I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through three posters... First poster: A man lying in the hot desert sand...totally exhausted and fainting. Second poster:  The man is drinking our Cola. Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed. And Then these posters were pasted all over the place "Then that should have worked!" said the friend. "The hell it should had!? said the salesman.    "Didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left"   Moral of this story:    "The customer perceives service in his or her own terms”   “The golden rule for every business man is this: ''Put yourself in your customer's place.''

 

Freewares / Free Softwares 19 Nov 09

Quick Config

Quick Config is a convenient tool to help change quickly various settings of your computer. This is a useful utility especially for those who travel with their laptops and wish to change network connection settings, set default printer and etc, with just a click. All one needs to do is to create one or more configuration profiles, set the required settings for each profile, and when a change is needed activate the profile by double clicking on it. Features: The current version of Quick Config can change - TCP/IP settings (IP address, mask, gateway, DNS server, MAC), state of network connection; computer name, domain or workgroup membership; map, unmap network drives; share, unshare local resources; Hosts file; Routing table, Sound volume and theme; Set default printer; Start, stop, restart system services; IE, FireFox and Opera network connection settings, Desktop- Display screen dimensions, color depth; and change default applications such as E-Mail client and others.

The 2942 KB Quick Config v1.1.6.55 (24 Oct 09) can be downloaded at http://intelloware.com/Download/QuickConfig.zip

Piwigo

Piwigo, a photo gallery software for the web, easily customizable. It's free and opensource, equipped with distinctly different features to publish and manage your collection of pictures. Piwigo has a snappy interface, and and amongst its features the "tree" takes the cake. This feature lets users create photo categories that expand and flatten the tree structure to view all the photos. Visitors can also set up user permissions and also create rating tabs for each photo, or groups of photos. Started in 2002, the project is now supported by an active community of users and developers. Piwigo supports numerous galleries of all sizes all over the world, from an individual ten-photos party to the images stock of an agency. This scalability is supported by smart browsing capabilities based on categories, tags and chronological search. Various extensions make Piwigo even more scalable and customizable to suit your own needs and desires.

Piwigo v2.0 is compatible with computers running Mac OS 10.3 or newer or Windows 95 and newer. Piwigo is both web and photo standard compliant.

For more details visit http://piwigo.org/

ooSooM

ooSooM is a task/todo management tool, free for personal use. It lets the person get on with the job on hand after securely logging the thoughts, ideas, etc in such a way that they can be found whenever needed. ooSooM does not attempt to force a predetermined 'methodology', it's a free format, lets you use it the way you want. You can prioritise and categorise your Todo Information, and each Todo or Vault Item can have it's own Colour Scheme, Font Size and Style. ooSooM has a Easy to use interface, requires no installation, no Modifications made to computer, Requires no additional Runtime installation, and can be run from a USB drive.

Developed by Arten Science, UK, the 32 MB ooSooM for Mac OSX, Windows XP, Vista, 2003 and 7 can be downloaded at http://www.artenscience.com/autoupdate/latestversions/oosoom_win.zip (for Windows),

and for Mac at http://www.artenscience.com/autoupdate/latestversions/oosoom_osx.zip

After downloading ooSooM and deciding that you would like to get rid of the nag screens, you need to contact Arten Science for a Serial Number (support@artenscience.co.uk)

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Please suggest a utility to back up installed drivers.

Double Driver enables viewing all the drivers installed on a system. The utility also lets you backup, restore, save and print all the chosen drivers. It can be downloaded at http://www.boozet.org/download.htm

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QUOTE TO MULL OVER

Success is your ability to rise above your discomfort, whatever may be your current state.
Success to me is about vision. It is the ability to rise above the immediacy of pain. It is about
imagination.

Subroto Bachi,
Vice Chairman and Co-founder of MindTree Ltd.

ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss
are on their way to a meeting.
On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost says,
"Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three,
I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted,
"I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries."
Pufffff. and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pufffff. and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said,
"I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."



MORAL OF THE STORY IS:
"ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"

Rs.70,00,000 Crore rupees in swiss bank..........

Latest update after Swiss Bank has agreed to disclose the funds.

Our Indians' Money - 70, 00,000 Crores Rupees In Swiss Bank

1) Yes, 70 lakhs crores rupees of India are lying in Switzerland banks. This is the highest amount lying outside any country, from amongst 180 countries of the world, as if India is the champion of Black Money.

2) Swiss Government has officially written to Indian Government that they are willing to inform the details of holders of 70 lakh crore rupees in their Banks, if Indian Government officially asks them.

3) On 22-5-08, this news has already been published in The Times of India and other Newspapers based on Swiss Government's official letter to Indian Government.

4) But the Indian Government has not sent any official enquiry to Switzerland for details of money which has been sent outside India between 1947 to 2008.. The opposition party is also equally not interested in doing so because most of the amount is owned by politicians and it is every Indian's money.

5) This money belongs to our country. From these funds we can repay 13 times of our country's foreign debt. The interest alone can take care of the Centers yearly budget. People need not pay any taxes and we can pay Rs. 1 lakh to each of 45 crore poor families.

6) Let us imagine, if Swiss Bank is holding Rs. 70 lakh Crores, then how much money is lying in other 69 Banks? How much they have deprived the Indian people? Just think, if the Account holder dies, the bank becomes the owner of the funds in his account.

7) Are these people totally ignorant about the philosophy of Karma? What will this ill-gotten wealth do to them and their families when they own/use such money, generated out of corruption and exploitation?

8) Indian people have read and have known about these facts. But the helpless people have neither time nor inclination to do anything in the matter. This is like "a new freedom struggle" and we will have to fight this.

9) This money is the result of our sweat and blood.. The wealth generated and earned after putting in lots of mental and physical efforts by Indian people must be brought back to our country.

10) As a service to our motherland and your contribution to this struggle, please circulate at least 10 copies of this note amongst your friends and relatives and convert it into a mass movement.

Super Mistakes

What they actually mean If a barber makes a mistake, It's a New Style If a driver makes a mistake, It is a New path If a engineer makes a mistake, It is a New Venture If parents makes a mistake, It is a New Generation If a politician makes a mistake, It is a New LAW If a scientist makes a mistake, It is a NEW Invention If a tailor makes a mistake, It is a NEW Fashion If a teacher makes a mistake , It is a NEW Theory If our boss makes a mistake, It is a New idea If an employee makes a mistake, It is a "Mistake"

Love Codes for Different Countries

   WORD                           STAND FOR

 H.O.L.L.A.N. D              Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies
 I.T.A.L.Y                      I Trust And Love You
 L.I.B.Y.A                       Love Is Beautiful; You Also
 F.R.A.N.C.E                  Friendships Remain And Never Can End
 C.H.I.N.A                     Come Here. I Need Affection
 B.U.R.M.A                    Between Us, Remember Me Always
 N.E.P.A.LG                   Never Ever Part As Lovers
 I.N.D.I.A                       I Nearly Died In Adoration
 K.E.N.Y.A                     Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing
 C.A.N.A.D.A                 Cute And Naughty Action that Developed into Attraction
 K.O.R.E.A.                    Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every Adversity
 E.G.Y.P.T                      Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!
 R.U.S.S.I.A                     Romance Under the Sky & Stars is Intimate Always
 M.A.N.I.L.A                  May All Nights Inspire Love Always
 B.A.L.I.W.A. G              Beauty And Love I Will Always Give
 M.A.L.A.B.O. N              May A Lasting Affair Be Ours Now
 I.M.U.S                        I Miss U, Sweetheart
 P.A.S.I.G                     Please Always Say I'm Gorgeous
 C.E.B.U                        Change Everything.. . But Us
 P.E.R.U                        Porget Everyone... Remember Us
 P.A.R.A.N.A. Q.U.E       Please Always Remain Adorable, Nice And Quiet Under Ecstacy
 T.O.N.D.O                  Tonight's Our Night, Dearest One
 P.A.S.A.Y                     Pretty And Sexy Are You
 Y.E.M.E.N                  Yugyugan Every Morning, Every Night
 M.A.R.L.B.O. R.O         Men Always Remember Love Because Of Romance Only
 Y.A.M.A.H.A               You Are My Angel! Happy Anniversary!

Read n return to me

Each
And everyone one of us are going through tough times right

Now, but God is getting ready

To bless you in a way that only

He can.. Keep the faith.

My instructions were to pick

Four people that I wanted God

 

To bless, and I picked you.

 

Please pass this to at least

 

(4) people you want to be blessed

 

And a copy back to me.

This prayer is powerful, and

Prayer is one of the best gifts

 

We receive.

 

There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray

 

For one another.

The prayer:

Father, I ask You to bless

 

My friends, relatives and those for whom I care deeply, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of
Your love and Power.
Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit

At this very moment. Where

There is pain, give them your peace and mercy.
Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace. Where there is need, I ask You to fulfill their
Needs. Bless their homes,

Families, finances, their goings
And their comings. In Jesus '

Precious name. Amen..

(If the Lord lays upon your

 

Heart to send this to more than

 

Four people, you are truly blessed).

Freewares / Free Softwares 05 Nov 09

DocPad

DocPad can be an alternative to Notepad. In addition to Notepad features DocPad has many more : block indent/unindent, bookmarking, case conversion, customizable toolbar, encoding conversion, file history, jump to line/offset, keyboard macros (unlimited in size and number), print preview, skinnable interface, spell checking, statistics, variable pitch font, and much more. It also has a built-in calculator, calendar, and character map.

Among the other features are: Alphabetization of paragraphs, File drag & drop, Text drag & drop, Convert to lower/upper/title/sentence case, Search and replace, including case-insensitive, whole-word, and wildcard searches, Undo up to 100 changes, Toolbar, Status Bar, Selectable character set, Recent file history, Statistics on characters, words, lines, and paragraphs, Variable-pitch fonts support, and a Help file.

DocPad version 8.0 (October 20th, 2009) for 2000, ME, XP, 2003, Vista, 2008, or 7 can be downloaded at
http://www.gammadyne.com/setup-dp.exe

The 3.5 MB DocPad takes up approximately 7 MB of hard disk space.

Security Essentials

Security Essentials is a free antivirus from Microsoft. It is a light-weight anti-virus & anti-malware tool for users who run a genuine Microsoft Windows(XP, Vista, 7) OS on their PCs. Features of Security Essentials: Least system requirements - unlike other antivirus tools, Security Essentials puts a minimum load on your system configuration, claims Microsoft; works on netbooks as well as older computers having limited hardware support; and a more speedier experience for users. It can also operate in a virtual environment, like Virtual PC.; Easy to use Interface; Installation file is only 10Mb in size & installs quickly; Protection mode activated as soon as the installation is completed; Automatic Updates; Microsoft's Dynamic Signature Service looks for the latest virus definition updates as soon as it senses a threat - these include malicious or potentially unwanted software on the computer; and is active against all kinds of threats.

The 4 MB+ Security Essentials can be downloaded at http://www.microsoft.com/Security_Essentials/

My Lockbox

If you wish to keep file(s), folder, or directory away from prying eyes, My Lockbox can help. It is a secure application that lets users to lock an important and otherwise unsecured folder from being accessible except with a secure password. The salient feature of My Lockbox is that not only will the newly locked folder be accessed directly, but it will also disappear completely from view - a feature not found in similar applications.

The other features include - any folder can be password protected; Instant protection; folders can remain inaccessible to system administrators, and in Windows safe mode; and Hotkeys support. Installation is simple, make sure to enter in a secure password! To create secure passwords you could check out PassPub, an online password generator at https://passpub.com/  The My Lockbox Control Panel also lets you change basic lockbox parameters like lockbox location, protection status, and password.

My Lockbox (Windows only) can be downloaded at

http://fspro.net/cgi-bin/sws/go.pl?distr=13

A Quick Start Guide at http://www.fspro.net/my-lockbox/quickstart.html

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Please suggest a screen zoom tool, preferably with annotation feature.

ZoomIt v4, by Mark Russinovich, perhaps, could help meet your needs.
The 267 KB ZoomIt (August 5, 2009 ) can be downloaded at
http://download.sysinternals.com/Files/ZoomIt.zip
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QUOTE TO MULL OVER

And above all things, never think that you're not good enough yourself.
A man should never think that. My belief is that in life people will take
you at your own reckoning.

Anthony Trollope
(1815-1882, British novelist)

shiny shiny Reloaded- Enjoy

Shiny Shiny Reloaded

 
Shiny Shiny 

 Yes Papa
Private Company
Yes Papa
Any Motivation
No Papa
Many Tensions
Yes Papa
Does u sleep well?
No Papa
Onsite Opportunity
No papa
Boss Ki Galiyan
Yes Papa
 
Increment
Ha ha ha :)

Ek Niranjan Title song...... sung by a software engineer...

hike ledu giftu ledu pandaki ichhe bonus ledu ek niranjan..
luck ledu kick ledu veliki intiki velle yogam ledu ek niranjan...
 
java radu naku jsp radu
.net radu naku c# radu
programming rane radu,appreciation levule,
onsite chancee ledu,promotion ledule. searching lo king ne , na lokame google yee..
workunna, lekunna nepppudu yeah canteenlo vuntanee..
 
hike ledu giftu ledu pandaki ichhe bonus ledu ek niranjan..
luck ledu kick ledu veliki intiki velle yogam ledu ek niranjan...
 
Care of Canteen, product of bench awara dot com.
ye dham ro dham tons of coffee mana kathe ga problem.
Are project pere teliyade, naku coding ee radee.
yeee tl , leadu leru le.. na mails evo naveee...
 
vachava chesava ani adigedhevvadule..
outings partlylu ani pilichedevvadule..
 
searching lo king ne , na lokame google yee..
workunna, lekunna nepppudu yeah canteenlo vuntanee..
 

head is aching,and its breaking kali aithey anthe,
thats ok yar chaltha hai, i have a saridon..
o paniki malina projects calls chesthayi lee..
mana style maname reject chesthameee.
 

ivvalo repoo la mana bathaku vunde..
tesesthe inko company vundane vunde...
 
searching lo king ne , na lokame google yee..
workunna, lekunna nepppudu yeah canteenlo vuntanee..
 
hike ledu giftu ledu pandaki ichhe bonus ledu ek niranjan..
luck ledu kick ledu veliki intiki velle yogam ledu ek niranjan...

 

That's called Gooogly (Brain Teasers)- -Q & A at IIM-B by P & G

Recently Procter & Gamble India had participated in IIM-Bangalore's
Placement Sessions. They asked some interesting questions to students during
recruitment.

Here are some of them:-
*********************************
1. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced
incorrectly. What is it?

2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time
is it?

3. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs; each rung is one foot apart. The
bottom rung is one foot from the water. The tide rises at 12 inches every 15
minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at its highest, how
many rungs are under water?

4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a
window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is the
bear?

5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?

6. There is a room. The shutters are blowing in. There is broken glass on
the floor. There is water on the floor. You find Sloppy dead on the floor.
Who is Sloppy? How did Sloppy die?

7. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that has
been dug with a square edged shovel?

8. If I were in Hawaii and dropped a bowling ball in a bucket of water which
is 45 degrees F, and dropped another ball of the same weight, mass, and size
in a bucket at 30 degrees F, both of them at the same time, which ball would
hit the bottom of the bucket first? Same question, but the location is in
Canada?

9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978, thirty-four
minutes past noon on May 6th.

10. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other
field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the
center field?

11. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?

Scroll down for answers............
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1. The word "incorrectly."

2. 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it between two
people. Therefore, he
gave a quarter to two.

3. None, the boat rises with the tide. Googly ;-)

4. White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the North pole, and
the bear, therefore, is a polar bear.

5. Three. Well, it seems that it could almost be either, but if you follow
the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed before addition.
So... half of two is one. Then add two, and the answer is three.

6. Sloppy is a (gold)fish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked his
goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him.

7. None. No matter how big a hole is, it's still a hole: the absence of
dirt.

8. Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F water
hits the bottom of the bucket last. Did you think that the water in the 30
degree F bucket is frozen? Think again. The question said nothing about that
bucket having anything in it. Therefore, there is no water (or ice) to slow
the ball down...

9. The time and month/date/year American style calendar are 12:34, 5/6/78.

10. One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.

11. The temperature.