PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE
Na… TAKE A LOOK:
1) Tech Support : 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer : 'Ok.'
Tech Support : 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer : 'No.'
Tech Support : 'Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer : 'No.'
Tech Support : 'Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer : 'Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'
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2) Customer : 'I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.'
Tech : 'Did you install the update?'
Customer : 'No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?'
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3)Customer : 'I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word.'
Tech : 'Tell me what you've done.'
Customer : 'I typed 'A: SETUP'.'
Tech : 'Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.'
Customer : 'It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'.'
Tech : 'Insert the MS Word setup disk.'
Customer : 'What?'
Tech : 'Did you buy MS word?'
Customer : 'No...'
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4) Customer : 'Do I need a computer to use your software?'
Tech : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
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5) Tech : 'Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer : 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
Tech : ##### ***
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6) Tech : 'What type of computer do you have?'
Customer : 'A white one.'
Tech : ******_____####
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7) Tech : 'What operating system are you running?'
Customer : 'Pentium.'
Tech : ////-----+++
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8). Customer : 'My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion.'
Tech : ??????
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9).Cus tomer : 'I have Microsoft Exploder.'
Tech : ?!%#$
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10).Customer : 'How do I print my voicemail?'
Tech : ??????
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11). Customer : 'You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly.'
Tech : 'What does it say?'
Customer : 'Something about an error and non-system disk.'
Tech : 'Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?'
Customer : 'No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside.'
Tech : @@@@@
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12). Tech : 'Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours.'
Customer : 'Is that Eastern time?'
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13). Tech : 'What does the screen say now?'
Customer : 'It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'.'
Tech : 'Well?'
Customer : 'How do I know when it's ready?'
Tech : *** ---- ++++
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The best of the lot
14) A plain computer illiterate guy rings Tech Support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech : What's the problem?
User : There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech : (keeps quite)
Tech : You'll need a new power supply.
User : No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech : Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User : No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech : 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech : (hush hush)
Tech : Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User : I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS . Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech : How did you come to that conclusion?
Tech : (hush hush)
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech : Then what did he say?
User : He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
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Height Of all (Too Good)
15) Customer care officer :I need a product identification number right now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust : sure
CCO : could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust : I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
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