Effects of IT on daily life :)

Effects of IT on our daily life J J


Abhijeet

Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around. I went on to ask, “why is she not attending the status call?”

Anup

I don’t login to orkut, yahoo, gmail, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home... thinking it will be blocked any way.
Till I realize - I am at home.

Nidhi

Awesome!!

Once after talking to one of my friend. I ended the conversation saying ...” Ok bye...in case of any issues will call u back”
(Hilarious!)


Bhabani

Once I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the door with the keys.

Sandy

I have a experience to share tooo .. I was earlier working at the back office of an international Bank. We used to 'dispatch' lot of Credit / Debit cards and statements for the customers and track its delivery later.

Once my granma was admitted in a hospital, my team mate once casually asked me " howz ur granma doing now ? still in hospital ? " ... and i replied to her " She is better now , she will dispatched from the hospital tomorrow !"

This was followed by a loud laugh in the entire bay !

Sandeep

Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab….pharmacist asked whr I want 250mg r 500mg…..suddenly I replied as 256mg…lol….thank god he didn't noticed tht….

Ashwin

Me getting a thought of doing an Alt+Tab while switching from a news channel to the DVD while watching TV.

Vidyarthi…

And I – after a forty hour marathon in Bhubaneshwar with Powerbuilder, decided to take a break and went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the silver screen!

Venu

Few of my friends and myself decided to go out for dinner. The place wasn't fixed yet. I said we shall decide it "run time"

Krishna


When I went to a movie theatre from office directly.. I showed the guy at the entrance my ID card and walked in… he had to call me back asking the ticket…

Rama

One late night when I went home after work, I was trying to flash my id card to open the lock and only after few secs, I realised what i'm trying to do

Arun

Few years back my shogun engine stopped on Bangalore MG Road as the petrol came to reserve. I told my friend I need to restart my bike!
Ashok this one is the best

few days back  I slept at 11:30 in the ni8 and  woke up in the morning at 7:00 and suddenly thought that I haven't completed 9.15 hours and laughed at myself when I realised abt that.


Tina

Just after our training completion in Mysore Dc and postings to Pune, me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants..
And as I finished.. I started walking towards the Basin with plates in my hand..

 
 

 

 

It's the moral of this email that I wanted to share

This is a nice mail on ATTITUDE & its importance... Check it out!!

1. An old man lived alone in a village. He wanted to spade his potato
garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped
him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his
situation: Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I
won't be able to plant my potato garden this year.. I hate to miss doing the
garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be
digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over.

I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love,
Dad


2. Shortly the old man received this telegram: "For Heaven's sake, Dad,
don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"

3. At 4 a.m the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police
officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused, the old man
wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.

4. His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad.. It's
the best I could do for you from here. "


Moral: "NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD,
IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART YOU CAN DO IT.
IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS... NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON
IS ".. 

 

 
no dreamss.. no worries, jus make evry1 happy..

Attention please - Take care of your health - avoid using this

1)Mobile Don't put your mobilecloser to your ears until the recipient answers, Because directly after dialing, the  mobile phonewould use it's maximum signaling power,  which is: 2watts = 33dbi. Please Be Careful. Please use left ear while using cell (mobile), because if you use the right one it may affect brain directly. This is a true fact from Apollo medical team.                                       2) APPY FIZZ  Do not drink APPY FIZZ . It contains cancer causing agent.   3) Mentos Don'teat Mentos before or after drinking Coke or Pepsi coz the person will die immediately as the mixture becomes cyanide. Please fwd to whom u care.   4) Kurkure Don'teat kurkure because it contains high amount of plastic if U don't Believe burn kurkure n u can see plastic melting. Please forward to all!!!!!!!!! !! News report from Times of India       5) Avoid these tablets as they are very dangerous * D cold * Vicks action- 500 * Actified * Coldarin * Co some * Nice * Nimulid * Cetrizet-D  They contain Phenyl- Propanol -Amide PPA.Which Causes strokes, and these tablets are banned in U.S.   6) Cotton Ear Buds                                   Cotton Ear Buds... (Must read it) Please do not show sympathy to people selling buds on roadside or at Signals... .. Just wanted to warn you people not to buy those packs of ear buds you get at the roadside. It's made from cotton that has already been used in hospitals. They take all the dirty, blood and pus filled cotton, wash it, bleach it and use it to make ear buds. So, unless you want to become the first person in the world to get Herpes Zoster Oticus (a viral infection of the inner, middle, and external ear) of the ear and that too from a cotton bud, DON'T BUY THEM! Please forward to all this may be helpful for someone.. ... ....... Please forward to all your near and dear ones....!    PLEASE FORWARD IT TO ALL WHOM YOU CARE. Dr. T. S. Roy MD, PhD Professor Department of Anatomy All India Institute of Medical Sciences New Delhi - 110 029 Phone:                91-11-26594880         Fax: 91-11-26588663, 26588641    Dr Rima Dada, M.D., Ph.D(Genetics) , MAMS Associate Professor, Dept of Anatomy, All India Institute of Medical Sciences(AIIMS) New Delhi 110029-INDIA

 

Hilarious

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008 and continuing it in 2009 also.......

Because of your kindness:

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE etc?.

* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer...
?

* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about ?7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill with calls to Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a Can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine..

* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

*
?

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)

* Still open to help somebody from Nigeria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle's property of $ 100 million. So much trustworthy.

* I have forwarded 35 emails to 400 people hoping that Ericsson or Nokia will send me latest mobile phones but those models are also obsolete now.
?

* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh , Tirupathi Balaji pics etc. Now most of those 'Wishes' are already married ?(to someone else)

NOW IMPORTANT NOTE:

If you do not send this e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will Pee on your head today at 6:30pm.

Nothing has happened till now...................... but who knows. So please forward.

A True Love Story

A TRUE STORY - VERY SHOCKING Very Shocking.... .

This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month in Chandigarh .

Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck.

She was working in a call center. She had a boy friend named Shankar.

Both of them were true lovers. They always talked on the phone.

You would never found her without handphone. In fact she also changed her cell connection from Airtel to Hutch, so that both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost.
She used to spend half of the day talking with shankar.
Priya's family knew about their relationship. . Shankar was very close to Priya's family as well. (Just imagine their love) .
Before she passed away she always told her friends 'If I pass away please burn me with my handphone' she also said the same thing to her parents.
After her death, people cudnt carry her body, A lot of them tried to do so,but still cant. Everybody had tried to carry the body, the results were the same.
Eventually, they called a person known to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul of dead person and who was a friend of her father.
He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.
After a few minutes, he said 'this girl misses something here.' Then her friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone.

He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It was then moved easily and they then carried her into the van.
 
All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away..
 
After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....
 
Shankar :.....'Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me.

Don't tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her.'

Her mother replied..... 'You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important.'
After he came, they told him the truth about Priya.
Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said 'don't try to fool  me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her. Please stop this nonsense'.
Then they show him the original death certificate to him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat) He said... 'Its not true. We spoke yesterday.. She still calls me.

Shankar was shaking.
Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. 'see this is from Priya, see this....' he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode.
All of them heard his conversation.
Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.
It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her sim card since it is nailed inside the grave box

They were so shocked and asked for the same person's
(who can speak with the soul of deal persons) help again. He brought his master to solve this matter.
 
He & his master
 

worked for 5 hours.
 
Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them....
 
 
 
 

Vodafone  has the best coverage

'Where ever you go, our network follows!!!'
 

Don't shout at me . . . I am also looking for the person who has sent me this mail....
So what you can do...you should also forward this mail to all your nears and dears...and enjoy...like i enjoyed
 
HA HA HA HA HA...... 

 

Different types of Marketting

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. "Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing... " 2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. "Marry him." -That's Advertising. ..." 3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. "Marry me - That's Telemarketing. .." 4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)"Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations... " 5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:"You are very rich! "Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition. .." 6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - "That's Customer Feedback..." 7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - "That's demand and supply gap..." 8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share..." 9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets..." __._,_.___

Computer Information !!!!!

 Nice One!!!! 
 

Who hasn't asked this question?


How the little arrow moves on the screen of your computer when you move
the   mouse.

The mystery is finally solved..


Click on the link below, move the mouse towards the centre of the screen
and all will be revealed.
Swipe the mouse back and forth and stop in the centre.


http://2006.1-click.jp/

 

Please Read: ICE will speak for you when you are not able to. In case of emergency

Good Information........... 

 

We all carry our mobile phones with names & numbers stored in its memory

but nobody, other than ourselves, knows which of these numbers belong

to our closest family or friends.

 

If we were to be involved in an accident or were taken ill, the people attending us would have

our mobile phone but wouldn't

 

Know who to call. Yes, there are hundreds of numbers stored but which one

is the contact person in case of an emergency?

 

Hence this "ICE" (In Case of Emergency) Campaign

 

The concept of "ICE" is catching on quickly. It is a method of contact

during emergency situations.

 

As cell phones are carried by the majority of the population, all you need

to do is store the number of a contact person or

 

persons who should be contacted during emergency under the name "ICE" ( In

Case Of Emergency).

 

The idea was thought up by a paramedic who found that when he went to the

scenes of accidents, there were

 

always mobile phones with patients, but they didn't know which number to

call. He therefore thought that it would be a

 

good idea if there was a nationally recognized name for this purpose. In

an emergency situation, Emergency Service personnel

 

and hospital Staff would be able to quickly contact the right person by

simply dialing the number you have stored as "ICE."

 

For more than one contact name simply enter ICE1, ICE2 and ICE3 etc. A

great idea that will make a difference!

 

Let's spread the concept of ICE by storing an ICE number in our Mobile

phones today!

 

Please forward this. It won't take too many "forwards" before everybody

will know about this It really could save your life,

 

or put a loved one's mind at rest ..

 

ICE will speak for you when you are not able to.

Right Foot Vs Brain

Try This.

HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT ?

You have to try this please, it takes 2 seconds. I could not believe this!

It is from an orthopaedic surgeon..... This will confuse your mind and you will keep you trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. It is pre-programmed in your brain!

1. While sitting in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so! And there's nothing you can do about it!

 

Happy Birthday mohan noothalapati

 

 

                                                                        HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOHAN!

                                   

                       

 

 

 

HAPPY       BIRTHDAY

 

“It's knowing you're
somebody special today
And waiting to see
what the hours bring your way,
Forgetting the things
that you don't like to do
And doing the things
that seem pleasant to you
It's enjoying those
marvelous little surprises
That come from all over,
in all shapes and sizes -
a phone call or letter
that brings you delight,
warm wishes and greetings
from morning till night -
It's making a wish
as you blow candles out
And having so much
to be happy about
That you can't help but dream,
as the hours slip away,
Of many more happy
returns of the day. ”

 

As Jiddu Krishnamurthy puts it:

 

“For the total development of the human being, solitude as a means of cultivating sensitivity becomes a necessity.
One has to know what it means to be alone, what it is to meditate, what it is to die;
and the implications of solitude, of meditation, of death, can be known only by seeking them out.
These implications cannot be taught, they must be learnt.
One can indicate, but learning by what is indicated is not the experiencing of solitude or meditation.
To experience what is solitude and what is meditation, one must be in in a state of inquiry;
only a mind that is in a state of inquiry is capable of learning.
But when inquiry is suppressed by previous knowledge,
or by the authority and experience of another, then learning becomes mere imitation,

and imitation causes a human being to repeat what is learnt without experiencing it.”

 

Cheers and have a great year ahead!

 

 

hansna mana hai :-)

 

One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her home.




As they were about to wish each other good night at the front door, the
guy started feeling a little more romantic. With an air of confidence,
he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her
"Honey, would you give me a kiss ?"


Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"


" Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
He asked grinning at her.


" No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"


"Oh come on!


There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".


" No way, it's just too risky!"


"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?".


" No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".


"Oh yes you can. Please?"


" No, no. I just can't" " I'm begging you ... "


Suddenly.....Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and


The girl's elder sister showed up in her pajamas, hair dishevelled, And
in a sleepy voice she said,


" Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if
needed, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake
....

"TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL.........."

  

Your age in chocolate!!

 

 

Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway   -but the Hershey Man will know! YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH This is pretty neat. DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute . Work this out as you read . Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun. 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10) 2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold) 3. Add 5 4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator 5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759 .. If you haven't, add 1758. 6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. You should have a three digit number The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week). The next two numbers are YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!) THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2009) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.   chocolate Calculator.

 

HOW TO KILL A LION!! THE IT WAY!!

TO KILL A LION COMPANIES FOLLOW THE FOLLOWING METHODS:

Cognizant Method:
hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more ......

TCS method:

hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration


IBM's metbod:

hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...
he dies of unemployment...

Syntel Method:-

Hire a Cat ..
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and
make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....

MBT method:

hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain?

i-Flex method:

hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari
for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes
alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion

COSL Method:

hire a lion .
tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...
lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....

Polaris Method :

hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....


Patni method:

hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....


Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!!

Accenture Method:

Hire a lion....
Send him to chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada
No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...
No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls
And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......

HUAWEI Method:

Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatically die

Satyam way :

hire a cat....Treat him as a Lion
send him to hyderabad to show the empire .
give him hell a lot of work and pay him peanuts.
later ..come to know company is fraud..
CEO sacked....got arrested..company got blacklisted
lion dies from shock and trauma.....




THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST
INFOSYS METHOD:
HIRE A LION.....
SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE
...................................................KING OF THE JUNGLE! J
MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM
............................................LION TURNS INTO CAT
MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM
..................................................CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE
SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG
..........................................MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!!
SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS
................................................MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE... :-) :-) :-)

Nice Joke - Smile Please :)

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.....

 

On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:

 

"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"

 

The voice from the other side responded:

 

"You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"

 

"No" replied the trainee.

 

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"

 

The trainee shouted back:

 

"And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"

 

"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.

 

"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put the phone down.....